I have absolutely no idea what to do in this situation," he says."Seriously. No clue at all."The cashier smiles."Will that be large or small bills, Mr.President?" she asks.This little on is compliments of PaulWhen the dwarf fortune teller escaped from the jail the other day the police alert said they were looking for a small medium at large.This one is compliments of wydenHere's one for you...I saw an ad for an expensive weight loss program that said they would guarantee that I would lose40 pounds in 4 weeks or my money back.What the hell! Why not give it a shot? What didI have to lose?After I signed in, they told me to go in this room and take off all my clothes, so I go in there and it looks like a normal steam room. Big deal!I was about to get dressed and leave when the door opened and an incredibly beautiful blonde opens the door and comes in buck naked.As soon as I could get my eyes up high enough to read the sign, I saw that it said, "If you catch me, my ass is yours."I was off. She was always in a hurry. She moved with her body leaning slightly forward in an aggressive way. She strode out, files tucked under her arm. She never paused to relax, chat or smile. In fact she always wore a worried look. Brenda was the sort of person who could not look you straight in the eye. I had chosen her from the amongst the applicants for the job partly because she was not too attractive. A young, pretty secretary could be distracting, particularly in an office populated by randy young men – though all bar one of them married! And my previous secretary, a good-looking lady, had managed to get a crush on me, which had caused some problems, but that’s another story. My choice for her replacement wasn’t a very popular one with the rest of the staff and I took some stick from my colleagues. However, she was a gem of a worker, asking no favours and getting on with the job. Perhaps because she had not expected to be offered the job, Brenda was desperate to please. Her work was.
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